Congratulations on your interest in the Apple Card! Before you start using your new card, we kindly ask that you thoroughly read these terms and conditions, which constitute a binding agreement between you (the "Cardholder") and Apple Inc. ("Apple"). By activating or using your Apple Card, you acknowledge that you have read, understood, and agreed to these terms in their entirety. If you do not agree, please do not use the card and immediately return it to us (at your expense, of course).

1.1 The Apple Card is a revolutionary credit card that combines sleek design with unparalleled financial inconvenience. We are thrilled to bring you a product that redefines the meaning of “user-unfriendly.”

1.2 The Apple Card is issued by Apple Financial Services (AFS), a wholly-owned subsidiary of Apple Inc. The card is intended for personal, family, or household purposes and may not be used for business or commercial purposes.

1.3 The Apple Card is made of high-quality materials, including titanium and unprocessed irony, ensuring durability and sarcasm for years to come.

2.1 To activate your Apple Card, you must download the Apple Card Activation App, which is only available for download between 2 AM and 3 AM GMT, on the second Tuesday of every month.

2.2 You must provide 17 forms of identification, including but not limited to: a government-issued ID, a recent utility bill, a signed note from your mother, and a time-stamped photograph of you performing a handstand.

2.3 Activation may take up to 45 business days. During this period, you may not use your Apple Card for any purchases, including but not limited to, emergency expenses and impulse buys.

2.4 Once activated, you may use the Apple Card at any retailer that accepts it, which currently includes a select list of three stores located in the greater metropolitan area of Butte, Montana.

2.5 The Apple Card is equipped with advanced technology, including an anti-user interface and reverse chip reader, ensuring every transaction is as complicated as possible.

3.1 APR (Annual Percentage Rate): The variable APR for purchases is set at 79.99%, subject to change without notice. If you are buying apple products the APR is set at 0%.

3.2 Late Payment Fee: A late payment fee of $150 or 10% of your total balance (whichever is higher) will be charged each time you fail to make a minimum payment by the due date.

3.3 Over-limit Fee: If your balance exceeds your credit limit at any time, a $200 over-limit fee will be applied.

3.4 Inactivity Fee: If you do not use your Apple Card at least once every 24 hours, you will incur an inactivity fee of $50 per day.

3.5 Paper Statement Fee: If you choose to receive paper statements, a $30 fee will be charged per statement.

3.6 Annual Fee: An annual fee of $500 will be billed to your account upon activation and each subsequent year on the anniversary of your activation date.

3.7 Balance Transfer Fee: A fee of 15% of the amount transferred, with a minimum fee of $100, applies to all balance transfers.

3.8 Cash Advance Fee: For cash advances, a fee of $75 or 8% of the cash advance amount, whichever is greater, will be charged.

3.9 Foreign Transaction Fee: For each transaction made outside the U.S., a fee of 10% of the transaction amount will be charged, in addition to any other applicable fees and currency conversion rates.

3.10 Processing Fee: A processing fee of $10 is charged for every transaction made using the Apple Card, regardless of the transaction amount.

3.11 Card Replacement Fee: If your Apple Card is lost, stolen, or damaged, a card replacement fee of $100 will be charged for issuing a new card.

3.12 Returned Payment Fee: If your payment is returned or cannot be processed for any reason, a returned payment fee of $50 will apply.

3.13 Expedited Payment Fee: If you wish to expedite a payment to avoid a late fee, an expedited payment fee of $75 will be charged.

3.14 Statement Copy Fee: Requesting a copy of any billing statement older than 30 days will incur a fee of $25 per statement.

3.15 Account Research Fee: If you request us to investigate any transaction or activity on your account, an account research fee of $150 per hour will be charged, with a minimum charge of one hour.

3.16 Telephone Payment Fee: If you choose to make a payment over the phone with a customer service representative, a telephone payment fee of $25 will be charged.

3.17 Rewards Redemption Fee: Each time you redeem your Apple Reward Points, a rewards redemption fee of $20 will be deducted from your points balance.

3.18 Customer Service Fee: Contacting customer service for any reason, whether for inquiries, complaints, or assistance, will incur a customer service fee of $10 per call, in addition to the per-minute billing rate.

3.19 Early Termination Fee: If you decide to close your Apple Card account within the first year, an early termination fee of $300 will be charged.

3.20 Dormancy Fee: If your Apple Card account remains inactive for 30 days, a dormancy fee of $25 per month will be charged until activity resumes.

3.21 Credit Limit Increase Fee: Requesting an increase in your credit limit will incur a fee of $75 per request, regardless of approval.

3.22 Credit Review Fee: A fee of $50 will be charged each time a credit review is conducted for your account.3.23 **PIN Change Fee**: Changing your PIN will incur a fee of $20 per change.

3.24 Emergency Card Replacement Fee: If you require an emergency replacement card, a fee of $150 will be charged.

3.25 Authorized User Fee: Adding an authorized user to your account will incur a fee of $50 per user, per year.

3.26 Monthly Maintenance Fee: A monthly maintenance fee of $10 will be charged to your account each month, regardless of account activity.

3.27 Travel Notification Fee: Notifying Apple of travel plans to prevent your card from being flagged for suspicious activity will incur a fee of $25 per notification.

3.28 Security Alert Fee: Each security alert generated on your account will incur a fee of $5.

3.29 Fraud Investigation Fee: Investigating potential fraud on your account will incur a fee of $100 per investigation.

3.30 Debt Cancellation Fee: If you enroll in a debt cancellation program, a fee of $50 per month will be charged.

3.31 Account Reopening Fee: Reopening a closed account will incur a fee of $75.

3.32 Payment Allocation Fee: If you request a specific allocation of your payment to certain charges, a fee of $25 will be charged.

4.1 Your billing statement will be available exclusively through the Apple Card Billing App, which requires a separate subscription of $19.99 per month.

4.2 Billing cycles are irregular and may vary between 15 to 45 days, at Apple's sole discretion.

4.3 Payments must be made via our proprietary payment system, Apple PayPalPay, which incurs a processing fee of 5% of the payment amount.

4.4 Payments made through any other method will not be accepted, and you will be considered delinquent on your account.

4.5 Minimum payments are calculated as the greater of $100 or 15% of your outstanding balance plus any accrued fees and interest.

4.6 If your payment is returned or cannot be processed for any reason, a returned payment fee of $50 will apply.

4.7 Payments must be made in U.S. dollars. If payment is made in a foreign currency, a currency conversion fee of 10% of the payment amount will be applied.

4.8 Payment processing may take up to 10 business days. You are responsible for ensuring that payments are made well in advance of the due date.

4.9 Partial payments will not be considered as meeting the minimum payment requirement and will still incur late fees.

4.10 If a payment is made in excess of your current balance, a credit balance fee of $20 will be charged.

4.11 All payments must be accompanied by the appropriate payment coupon found in your billing statement. Failure to include the payment coupon will result in a misdirected payment fee of $15.

4.12 Any disputes regarding billing must be submitted within 30 days of the statement date. Disputes submitted after this period will not be considered.

4.13 You may request a due date change once per calendar year, subject to a due date change fee of $50.

4.14 If you fail to make a payment for three consecutive billing cycles, a delinquency fee of $100 will be charged in addition to any applicable late fees.

4.15 Payments made at non-participating banks or financial institutions will incur an off-network payment fee of $25.

4.16 If your account balance remains unpaid for 180 days, it will be transferred to a collections agency, and a collections transfer fee of $200 will be added to your balance.

5.1 For every $1,000 spent using your Apple Card, you will earn 3% Cash Back in Apple Reward Points.

5.2 Apple Reward Points can be redeemed for exclusive Apple merchandise, such as branded stickers, keychains, and virtual high-fives.

5.3 Points expire 24 hours after they are earned and cannot be transferred, combined, or redeemed for cash.

5.4 Apple reserves the right to modify or cancel the rewards program at any time, with or without notice.

5.5 Redemption of points requires submission of a written request by certified mail, which may take up to 90 business days for processing.

5.6 Points cannot be redeemed during any promotional blackout periods, which occur randomly throughout the year.

5.7 Points have no monetary value and cannot be used to offset any fees or charges on your account.

6.1 Apple Card customer service is available exclusively through our premium hotline, which is billed at $5 per minute.

6.2 The hotline operates from 2 PM to 3 PM GMT, on the first Monday after a full moon.

6.3 Inquiries and complaints must be submitted in writing, in triplicate, via certified mail, to our customer service headquarters located in Antarctica.

6.4 Responses to inquiries may take up to 180 business days. Apple is not responsible for lost or misdirected mail.

6.5 Any follow-up inquiries regarding a previously submitted complaint will incur an additional fee of $25 per inquiry.

6.6 Customer service interactions are monitored for quality assurance purposes, and recordings may be used against you in any dispute resolution process.

7.1 By using the Apple Card, you consent to the collection, use, and sharing of your personal information with our partners, affiliates, and anyone who expresses interest.

7.2 Apple may sell your data to third-party advertisers, including but not limited to your shopping habits, location, and preferred pizza toppings.

7.3 You have no right to opt out of data sharing. Requests to remove your data will be ignored.

7.4 Apple uses advanced tracking technology to monitor your use of the Apple Card, including your spending patterns, physical location, and emotional state during purchases.

7.5 Personal data collected may be stored indefinitely, and you waive any rights to request deletion or modification of your data.

7.6 Apple reserves the right to disclose your personal information in response to legal requests from governmental authorities or to protect Apple's rights and interests.

8.1 You are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of your Apple Card information, including your card number, PIN, and any passwords associated with your account.

8.2 You agree to notify Apple immediately if you suspect any unauthorized use of your account. However, you are still liable for all transactions made on your account, authorized or not.

8.3 Apple reserves the right to implement additional security measures at any time, which may include biometric scans, voice recognition, and mood ring readings.

8.4 Security breaches resulting from your negligence will incur a negligence fee of $50 per incident.

8.5 Unauthorized use of your account will be investigated, and a fraud investigation fee of $100 will be charged per investigation.

8.6 To enhance security, periodic password changes will be mandated, incurring a password change fee of $10 each time.

8.7 You must enroll in two-factor authentication, which may require purchasing an Apple Two-Factor Authentication Device, available for $199.

8.8 Failure to comply with security updates and protocols will result in an account security non-compliance fee of $25 per month.

9.1 All disputes arising out of or relating to the Apple Card or these Terms and Conditions will be resolved through binding arbitration, to be conducted in Cupertino, California.

9.2 You agree to waive your right to a jury trial and to participate in any class action lawsuit against Apple.

9.3 Arbitration will be conducted by a single arbitrator appointed by Apple, and the arbitration fees will be split equally between you and Apple.

9.4 You must provide written notice of any dispute within 30 days of the occurrence of the event giving rise to the dispute.

9.5 All arbitration proceedings will be confidential, and the arbitrator's decision will be final and binding.

9.6 The arbitrator is not authorized to award punitive or exemplary damages.

9.7 Any attempt to resolve disputes outside of arbitration will result in a dispute handling fee of $500.

9.8 Each party will bear its own attorney's fees and costs, regardless of the outcome of the arbitration.

10.1 Apple reserves the right to modify these Terms and Conditions at any time, with or without notice to you.

10.2 Any modifications will be effective immediately upon posting on the Apple Card website or other notification to you.

10.3 Continued use of your Apple Card after any modification constitutes your acceptance of the modified terms.

10.4 You are responsible for regularly reviewing these Terms and Conditions to stay informed of any changes.

10.5 Any failure to comply with the modified terms may result in the suspension or termination of your Apple Card account.

10.6 Disputes regarding the interpretation of modified terms will be resolved in accordance with the Dispute Resolution section.

11.1 Apple reserves the right to terminate your Apple Card account at any time, with or without cause, and without notice to you.

11.2 Upon termination, you must immediately cease all use of the Apple Card and return it to Apple at your expense.

11.3 Any outstanding balance on your account will become immediately due and payable upon termination.

11.4 Apple may report account terminations to credit reporting agencies, which may negatively affect your credit score.

11.5 Termination for cause, including but not limited to fraud, abuse, or violation of these Terms and Conditions, may result in forfeiture of any earned rewards points.

11.6 A termination processing fee of $100 will be charged upon account termination.

11.7 Apple is not liable for any damages or losses resulting from the termination of your Apple Card account.

12.1 These Terms and Conditions and any disputes arising out of or relating to them will be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of California, without regard to its conflict of laws principles.

12.2 Any legal action or proceeding arising out of or relating to these Terms and Conditions will be brought exclusively in the state or federal courts located in Santa Clara County, California.

12.3 You consent to the jurisdiction of such courts and waive any objection to the venue or jurisdiction in those courts.

12.4 The prevailing party in any legal action or proceeding will be entitled to recover its reasonable attorneys' fees and costs from the other party.

13.1 These Terms and Conditions constitute the entire agreement between you and Apple with respect to the Apple Card and supersede all prior or contemporaneous understandings, agreements, representations, and warranties, whether written or oral.

13.2 If any provision of these Terms and Conditions is held to be invalid or unenforceable, the remaining provisions will remain in full force and effect.

13.3 Apple's failure to enforce any right or provision of these Terms and Conditions will not be deemed a waiver of such right or provision.

13.4 You may not assign or transfer any of your rights or obligations under these Terms and Conditions without Apple's prior written consent.

13.5 Apple may freely assign or transfer these Terms and Conditions, in whole or in part, without restriction.

13.6 Any notices or other communications required or permitted under these Terms and Conditions will be in writing and delivered to Apple at the address specified in your billing statement or to you at the address specified in your account information.

13.7 These Terms and Conditions do not confer any rights or remedies upon any third party.

13.8 The headings used in these Terms and Conditions are for convenience only and will not affect the interpretation or construction of these terms.

By activating or using your Apple Card, you acknowledge that you have read, understood, and agreed to these Terms and Conditions in their entirety. Thank you for choosing Apple Card, and may your financial journey be as thrilling as a roller coaster with no safety bar!